Washington, DC; June 1, 2016 – Harvey Wallbanger was the top write-in vote-getter in the 1972 presidential election eventually won by Richard Nixon. Fast forward to present and Mr. Wallbanger today officially announces his candidacy for the 45th presidency of the United States.
A 70s cocktail icon – one part myth, two parts party animal, and one part vodka, 3 parts OJ and a healthy splash of Galliano – Mr. Wallbanger awoke from celebrating National Harvey Wallbanger Day last November and, looking at the calendar in anticipation of an equally freaky-deaky party in 2016, made a shocking discovery:
National Harvey Wallbanger Day 2016 (November 8th) falls on the same day as the 45th President of the United States of America is to be voted into office.
Never one to ignore when the stars are perfectly aligned, Mr. Wallbanger immediately resolved to plan his own run to the White House – this time on purpose.
Indeed, Wallbanger’s decision did not come from out of the blue. Over forty years ago, there was one name that received the most write-in votes in the 1972 presidential election. That name was Harvey Wallbanger. True Story. In those years, he has traveled this great land and has learned a lot about how to lead America into a brighter future; so bright we’ll all be wearing shades day and night.
Said Wallbanger, “Now, I’m fully aware that it’s June and that this announcement comes pretty late in the game. But honestly… who shows up to a party on time? Not someone you want to vote for that’s for sure. Besides, there are some serious cheese weasels out there campaigning for office and I figured… what the hay? I might as well jump into this goofy-doofy race and see what’s what.”
Wallbanger insists he is not aligned with the Republican nor the Democratic Party. In classic style and in an effort to “make America chill again,” he’s formed his own “After Party-Party” (APP), the values of which reflect those of its founder. Wallbanger says the APP is about all Americans getting together and having a good time. He believes it’s every American’s right not to be bummed out, and that’s something he will fight for once he is the Commander and Chief. To wake up in Harvey’s America is to wake up… and then hit the snooze button and go back to sleep for a few more hours. That’s the America Harvey believes in.
Stances on key Issues:
* Harvey is not a man in favor of building walls to keep folks out – he is all about banging walls down.
* He doesn’t get uptight about who is allowed to use what bathroom, having spent way too much time partying in both men’s and women’s bathrooms to care.
* His stance on Voter ID is simple: he doesn’t think it should be easier to get into a nightclub than to vote.
* Wallbanger is not in favor of keeping any group of people out or taking away group of people’s rights because in his own words “A party that excludes is a party that’s rude, dude, and that’s not me.”
Join Harvey Wallbanger’s campaign on www.vote4wallbanger.com.
Mix this cocktail in support of Harvey’s candidacy:
#MakeAmericaChillAgain
1 oz vodka
0.5 oz Galliano
3 oz OJ
0.5 oz lemon juice
Mr. Wallbanger is giving away his campaign swag weekly on his Facebook page.
Follow the campaign on Instagram & Twitter for live updates and through the hashtag #MakeAmericaChillAgain.
